Monday, November 29, 2010

I'm still here

Oh my gosh! It's been forever, I know. I get so distracted sometimes, and my life can be kinda boring. Hence my absence. That and the chronic headaches, which make it difficult for me to get through work some days, let alone take extra time to write something on here. But thankfully they are mellowing again. I don't know what caused the most recent flare up. I'm just happy they seem to be fading back to normal again. So what am I up to these days? I've been reading a LOT lately, which is nice for me, so let's talk about books.

There was a period of time after I graduated from college when my desire and ability to read anything longer than a magazine article was seriously lacking. In fact, some articles were too long. Entertainment Weekly length was about all I could handle for quite a bit. It was scary for me because I have always loved reading. I've always needed something to read; I carried books with me everywhere so I would always have something. It's like my need for water. But my grandma doesn't really read anymore, and my mom doesn't read nearly as much as she did when she was younger. I've always feared being that way myself. I don't want to lose the ability to get lost in a good book, to be transported somewhere else. I love the feel of a book; the feel of the different types of papers. I love the smoothness of a nice art book just as much as the roughness of a cheap mass market romance. I love the smell, and how different kinds of books have different smells. Casual versus academic. Hardback versus quality paperback versus mass paperback. Educational books versus sheer trash. The styles of storytelling. The formulas, and how they are tweaked. A good author's voice. Characters that draw me in. People who make me laugh. I love all of it.

I am quite relieved to discover that I still love to read just as much as I used to. I just had to recover from Berkeley, that's all. And sometimes I just don't have the time or energy, but when I do, I devour them. Thank goodness. I'm still not my mother or my grandmother. I would like to avoid that for as long as possible. So I like to go to goodreads. (If you're on that site, look me up. We can be friends.) It's a great website where I put in what I'm reading and how far along I am. That way I have a record of what I've read. And it gives recommendations. Not that I need more books. I recently started getting rid of books, which does not come easily to me, let me tell you. I had 15 bags of books and when I dropped them off at the used bookstore, took my money and left, I had a really difficult time. Some of those books had been with me for a long time. I knew I didn't need them and that I wasn't going to read them, but letting them go felt like losing a piece of myself. I'm still struggling with it, but I have started a new pile to get rid of. I think I was afraid that I needed to get rid of some of my favorites, but I don't think that's true anymore. I'm currently rereading one of my favorite series (vampires, of course). I still love them. Are they the most well written books? No. Is the subject matter uplifting and/or edifying? Nope. But it's entertaining. And that's just the way I like them. The main character is someone I enjoy "being with," if you will, and the stories are comfortable and familiar. These are books I've reread a number of times and I'm enjoying this time through. Which tells me I don't need to get rid of them. I'm still enjoying them and that's what matters.

But back to what I've been reading (before I started rereading this series). Let's see what goodreads has to tell us. (These are in reverse chronological order, btw.)
Firefly Lane, which I got at Target forever ago. I found the story entertaining and the characters realistic and humorous, which is good. What I did not like was how much the ending depressed me. It was well written, but I needed something more fun and less sob-worthy.
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. Hilarious book. That's a definite keeper. I bought it on a whim one day at the campus bookstore because it was on sale and I'd heard good things. I'm so glad I did; it was so worth it. It pulled me out of the pit the book I had read before threw me in, but I'll get to that. I want to get her other two books and I hope she writes many more. So funny.
Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker. This one I just wanted to finish so I could add it to the new pile of books to donate. I think she has a great style and wonderful way with words, but it is so unendingly and shrilly cynical and depressing. A neverending study of all our flaws and shortcomings as humans. In small doses I enjoy that, if it is humorous. I don't find Dorothy Parker amusing; I find her irritating.
The Gemma Doyle trilogy: I originally started reading this way back when the first book came out. Then I read the second book and never got around to the third. I'm not even sure I finished the second one originally. Again, I was trying to clean up my books and see if this was something to get rid of. So I decided to reread the first two and finally get to the third and final book. I like a lot about these books. The Victorian England setting, the young adult slant, the growing up and becoming your own person in conjunction with a supernatural twist. I didn't mind the women's lib metaphor, even though it was a bit heavy at times. Here's the thing though: (This contains SPOILERS, so don't read if you don't want to know.) I hated the ending. It did make me cry, but more than anything, I just don't understand. She loves this Indian boy and obviously in that time period that is all kinds of difficult. I think it would have been great to keep him around and show the difficulty of such a relationship. Maybe that would have spoiled the independent woman vibe? I don't know. But he dies, sort of. He turns into a tree. Now, I have a really open mind when it comes to supernatural stories. Explain it so that it makes sense, and I'm cool with it, even if I don't like it. But I still don't understand why he became a tree. And why couldn't she talk to him anymore? She could talk to other people who were the tree. It's stupid and annoying and I hate it. Did I get rid of the books? No, I'm keeping them. Maybe I will be able to let go of them in time, but for now I'm so upset by them I can't get rid of them. Which makes about as much sense as him turning into a tree. Go figure.
All In My Head: An Epic Quest to Cure an Unrelenting, Totally Unreasonable, and Only Slightly Enlightening Headache. I'll end this post here. I read this while I was struggling with the flare up of my migraines. I will admit that I think it may have added to some of the pain, in the way that reading in a moving vehicle makes me carsick. But, I also think it gave me a certain peace about my headaches. I felt reassured that I hadn't caused this pain, and that there might not be a cure. Which kind of sounds upsetting, but is actually a comfort to me somewhat. It means I'm not the reason for my continual headaches. It's not my fault. Of course there are environmental triggers, and I do things sometimes that aggravate my headaches, but fundamentally it is a biological problem that is just there. Not because of something I've done, just because. So I guess I can stop blaming myself for that and carry on with my life. Some comfort is better than none.

So tell me what you've been reading. I love recommendations. And I'll try not to go so long between posts. xoxo
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