Silent

I have been consciously radio silent for a bit here. I'm working through some things and feeling a bit frustrated. Do you ever have that feeling of such confusion and irritation and just plain fed up-ness that you're afraid if you try to say anything you'll just start screaming and yelling? Well, that's kind of how I've been feeling lately. If you don't know that feeling, you can just call me crazy lady and be done with it. And I deeply envy you, because I would love to spend some time in a world I don't find deeply infuriating sometimes. Also, I've been super busy at work and my computer at home is old and almost completely useless (and will be replaced in the next month or two, huzzah!). Anywhoozle, I am breaking my silence right now to let you know I'm still here.

Also, I had a little ray of joy and peace last night in getting to sit and watch So You Think You Can Dance. I just love this show. I am not shy about sharing my complete disdain for most reality programming, especially American Idol and the like. I won't deny that SYTYCD of course falls prey to some of the trappings of these shows because it is a reality competition on a major network and therefore has to lure viewers with stories and weird auditions and whatnot. BUT, overall it maintains a purity (to me) that the others do not. This show is completely and all about talent. It's about creating beauty in the world. I think because it is a dance competition and not a singing competition, it doesn't have the same money pit to fall into. By that, I mean that yes, singing competitions are looking for talent, but ultimately it is going to benefit not just the winner(s), but also the companies involved with these shows because the winner sells music. I know it doesn't always work out that well, but you can't deny that these franchises are making quite the profit here. And yes, SYTYCD probably makes some money from their tours just like American Idol, but after that it seems to benefit the dancers on the show more than anything.

This is all my own opinion, obviously, and I don't know all the inner workings, but this is one of the things I love about the show. That and getting to see some incredible dancers. INCREDIBLE. (And choreographers, but we're not there yet - we're in auditions right now.) I wasn't shy on the Twitter last night about what I liked. You can visit my feed by clicking the link on the left to see what I had to say, if you're interested. Here's a link to the recap on TWoP if you want a bit more detail. I'm just going to post some videos of my favorites here to share with you all.

Chehon Wespi-Tschopp

My absolute favorite! Admittedly, I am a sucker for the ballet dancers. But I love his movement, the way it's not strictly ballet here, the musicality, how he moved with the music. Oh man. I had chills.

Hampton Williams

 This is why I love this show. This is not something I get to see every day (or ever, really). The promos made this seem creepy as hell, and his explanation of his style was kind of weird. But his dancing blew me away. Not just his style and ability, but the intense channeling of emotion was incredible. I was a blubbering mess on the couch by the time he was done. I honestly don't know how he'll do in this competition, but I hope he does well in Vegas because I would really love to see more from him.

Daniel Baker

Yes, another ballet dancer. He was awesome. And I really like that he wants to stretch beyond ballet and that's why he came on the show. I hope he does well in Vegas, because I think he has the potential to be great. And those leaps!

Sadly, no ballroom in this set of auditions, but maybe next week. I hope.

________________________________________

And how about a few all time favorites for fun?

Lauren Froderman

I wish I could get a better version of this video, but it's not coming up on the video search. Whatever. This was Lauren's second time doing the cha cha, and I think her ballroom routines are a PRIME example of why she totally deserved her win in Season 7. When contemporary dancers try to do ballroom it frequently turns out not great, sometimes downright awful and/or not recognizable as the dance it is supposed to be. This is so not that. I hope she comes back again as an All Star at some point this season.

 Courtney and Mark - The Garden

Two of my favorite dancers and possibly my absolute favorite routine, period. I love Sonja's choreography. Just awesome.

Twitch and Alex

I have to include this performance. I love almost anything Twitch is in because he is awesome. But this was so impressive to see from Alex, a ballet dancer who before this was having trouble breaking out of his patterns and loosening up. And so sad because right after this performance, in rehearsals for the following week, he injured himself quite badly and had to leave the competition.

Pasha and Anya

 I can't not include these two. Both are absolutely phenomenal. I love seeing them back on the show, whether as choreographers or All Stars. This video is their audition for Season 3. I'm linking here to when they got to perform this same piece as All Stars in Season 7, which doesn't seem to be available for me to embed. :( Anyway, the only real differences are the outfits and Anya's hair color (and they get to do the whole number in Season 7). Every time I watch them I have to keep reminding myself that this is not sped up - they are actually moving that fast. Wow.

OK, one more and then I'm done. Promise. I know this got long. I just get so wrapped up. I love dance and there are so many wonderful dancers and routines that have been on the show. I'm going to end with...

Kent and Neil

I think anyone who has been hurt by someone can appreciate this piece. Plus, it's danced beautifully and Travis is a brilliant choreographer.

I'm going to stop there. If you stuck with me all the way through, thanks! I hope you enjoyed at least some of it. I like sharing the things that move me and inspire me. So, yeah. Anyway, have a great Memorial Day weekend everyone! xoxo

Gratitude

Y'all, I have this whole other post that I mostly wrote yesterday that I was planning to put up today. But then, this happened. And it leaves me feeling very humbled and grateful for the many blessings in my life. This whole blog thing is so strange to me. I basically feel like I'm rambling into my journal, only it's online and every now and then other people see it. For the most part, I don't see or feel the involvement of others in this because this isn't one of those blogs that has a bazillion followers (which I'm totally fine with, btw - just pointing it out). So I guess it throws me a little that someone can read what I'm putting on here and actually get something out of it. And I don't mean to denigrate myself in any way by saying that; it's just this entire internet thing sometimes feels completely surreal, you know? The sense of familiarity and intimacy with people I've never met because I read what they write every day (or however often they blog, because goodness knows I do not update every day, or sometimes even every week or month). All of that is just to say that I am very thankful not only that someone would mark my blog as one of her favorites, but also say such nice things about me and what I write.

Now, I do actually know the lovely blogger of butter, sugar, flowers (a wonderful blog for baking and for insights) in person. I am lucky enough to have her as a coworker and very good friend. She is an incredibly talented baker and one of the nicest and most thoughtful people I've ever known, as well as an oft-needed encouraging presence in my life. Which actually makes this all the more touching. In some ways it often feels easier for me to grow attached to someone's writing without knowing them, because I don't have to personally witness or experience their flaws and eccentricities, and I feel like that might be true for other people as well. One might think good things of me from what I post that could become a bit tarnished by knowing me in person. Maybe that's just my skewed perspective of myself and/or the world. Or maybe that's something others experience as well. I honestly don't know.

I would like to try to pass on this award to others, but I will need to gather my thoughts first. Right now I just want to bask in this glow. You might think this award is rather insignificant, and by itself it probably is, but never underestimate the value of hearing that who you are and what you think and say are worth something. So thanks. xoxo

P.S. If someone has made you feel that you are not of value, you have my full permission to punch that person in the face.

P.P.S. Imagining it is probably better than actually doing it. Violence is usually not the answer. But an imaginary punch can be very freeing. :D

Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer

I know it's not actually summer yet, but it's getting really warm. Plus! It smells warm. The semester is winding down. I'm in the middle of hiring grad students for the summer sessions. I've started a new workout regime/plan/8 week thing; added it to the line-up, anyway. (More details on that soon, as well as a project I teased ages ago. Yeah, I remember it, I just haven't gotten to it yet. Sigh.) All of those things point to summer being swiftly approaching.

I feel a sense of freedom and lightness that I associate with the middle of the year. Let's be clear here: I am in no way a fan of summer in relation to the weather. I do not like heat, as I'm sure I have mentioned before, probably more than once. Anything above the upper 70s and I start to get really cranky. (Fun fact about me: I run, on average, about 1 degree higher than normal human oral temperature. So whereas the average oral temperature is 98.6F, my temperature hovers around 99.6-8F. Interestingly enough, I discovered around age 13 that my oral temp started going down when I got sick, and it has remained that way. I've gotten as low as the 95F range. I don't know why or how that works, but whatever. At least I can tell when something is wrong.)

So anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, not a fan of the heat. But I have a lot of fantastic associations with summer, and there's just something about it that renews my spirit. I feel more capable of meeting my goals; the days feel less heavy and full of more possibilities. If you ask me, I will always say I'm a winter kind of girl, but summer does have its good parts. :)

So! Since I'm in that lazy hazy part of the summer feeling, and it's Friday and I can't wait to go home and start a weekend I'm dedicating to being a homebody, I am going to do Five Question Friday for today from this wonderful blog (love the url). So let's get to it!

1. Groceries are high right now. What is the easiest way you have found to cut back? 

 Well, luckily it's just me, so I don't have to buy a ton of groceries. I do sometimes get carried away, especially when I get lured in by new GF products. However! If I stick to my list and stick mostly to the perimeter of the store, I don't have much trouble sticking to about $50 per week. Every now and then I splurge a bit, but it usually evens out. I do give myself a little leeway when I need to stock up on important items. About 97% of the time I stick very closely to my list and my budget. And shop sales, and coupons if I remember them!

2. What are the top 3 things on your "bucket list"? 

I totally don't have one and I'm not really into making one. I find it important for me to focus on where I am now. My main goal is to be healthy, which means I should have plenty of time to make a bucket list later! ;)

3. Would you rather give up AC or heat?

I refer you back to the beginning of this post. I will give up heat in a heartbeat. In fact, I rarely use it. I set the thermostat pretty low. And I have a fireplace in my new place, hidden by my couch. So, yeah.

4. What's your favorite cocktail?

My favorite thing to drink, period, is water. I don't drink alcohol, but I love me some water. It's pretty much the only thing I drink, aside from tea and milk sometimes when I have cereal. Oh and coffee on weekday mornings.

5. What was your first job and how old were you? 

I was probably 15 or 16 when I started working (under the table. shhh! don't tell) at a dry cleaner and a music store, both part time in the summer to earn money. My first legit job was in a bookstore when I was in college. I think I was 18. Possibly 19. I loooooved my discount. Working retail, though? Never, ever, ever again. God willing. But I do have some interesting memories from that place.

Ok lovelies, that's it for me today. I hope everyone has an ab fab weekend. Get some rest, have some fun, do what you wanna do, go where you wanna go. I will catch y'all later. xoxo

Good Friday

I realize this is redundant if you know me on facebook, but for those who don't, or who are not on facebook, here ya go. 

It feels strange to say Happy Good Friday, but I guess it actually does make sense. I don't have the words to express how grateful I am for the sacrifice He made to save so many. So here is a song video to do it for me.

Happy Good Friday everyone. God bless. xoxo

Finally moving on...I hope

Saturday I left my keys at my old place and can finally close that door and move forward. I hope. We'll have the final walk through some time this week, but I did all I could, so fingers crossed. But I finally feel free to focus entirely on my new place. I did a bit of shopping this weekend, with several different stops. Dollar Tree was kind of a bust, but I think it was a mistake to go there first anyway. I'll need to go there after I get everything unpacked and get baskets for organizing. I got a few great canisters at Tuesday Morning on Saturday, which made me happy. But it wasn't until I was on my way to Target Greatland before church that evening that I hit the mother lode. I discovered that they finally filled the empty Borders building in the shopping center with a Home Goods. I'd never been in one of those before, so I figured I might as well pop in and have a look. Boy was it crowded! I'm not sure when they opened, but it couldn't have been too long ago. (Update: I looked it up and the store opened the weekend before. No wonder it was still so crowded.) And I hit paydirt. I found exactly what I had been picturing in my head when I thought of canisters. And for really good prices too. I didn't want to overdo it, so I limited myself a little, but I walked out of there with two huge square glass canisters and two tall beehive glass canisters. For about $20! I was so excited. I had to skip a full on Target stop because I had to get to church.

The next day after lounging a bit (which is what I love to do on Sundays) I headed back out to the Target Greatland and managed to pick some shelves and get my grocery shopping done. Except for a couple things I got at Safeway.

I decided to get a couple of these for my closet to put my folded clothes in, but I'm not sure they will really work for that the way I envisioned. At the very least I would need another one because they're a bit smaller than I expected. But they could make great storage on the closet shelf. So many options.

 

I got one of these for extra kitchen storage, but again, I'm not sure it will work exactly the way I was imagining. I'm thinking over the possibilities, but I might move this into the closet for my clothes and find something else for the kitchen storage. Or I might just get another one of these so I can have one in the kitchen and one in the closet, because it is really cool and so easy to put together. We'll see how that turns out.

I also scored season 7 of The Office on a great sale - the last season with Steve Carrell in it and the last season I feel the need to have. The current season has been rather uninspiring; at least once per episode I find myself saying, "I miss Michael." AND I got Lego Harry Potter Years 5-7 on a great sale. Finally used my Target gift cards too. I've been waiting and waiting for both to go on sale. It took long enough!

I am happy to report that all of my movies, music and books are put away (shocking, I know). Always the first to get organized because it makes me feel at home. I'm slowly clearing the dining area of things only so I can move the stuff to get rid of into the space. Which will get it out of my way, so I'm excited about that. I still need to put all the games away (after sorting and seriously decreasing my collection), which will make a big difference in there.And then I can put other things that I want in the inside storage closet away, which will make an even bigger difference. I can't wait to get the curtains up, but that won't be for at least two weeks (at the earliest) because this weekend is Easter and I am booked solid. Plus I still need to get anchors and get my uncle to help me. I am not good at hanging things straight if more than on screw, nail, etc. is required.

Things I want to get done this week that have nothing to do with moving, packing or unpacking things (i.e., it's time to get back to my normal routine at last):

My workouts! Ugh, I have gone more than a week without a workout. Not that moving isn't one, but it isn't the same. I am determined to get on my treadmill tonight, even though that means moving a whole bunch of stuff out of the way first. I don't care. I need this. And maybe I'll even squeeze in some toning.

Laundry. Surprisingly, I don't even have a full basket yet. Probably because I did a bunch of laundry before packing up all my clothes and moving them a little over a week ago. So, I haven't accumulated too much. But I want to try out the machines at my new place. And there are several things in the basket that I would like to wear, so they need to be washed. I'm hoping to do that tonight as well. I guess can put it off until tomorrow if I must.

Turning off the TV and other electronics at 9 and reading until it's time to go to sleep. I have been slacking on this in a major way while in transition and since I've moved because it soothes me. And I'm seriously behind on my DVR. And I've been unpacking into the evenings, which delays my shower and my entire nighttime routine. I need to get back to that so I get more and better sleep.

That's about it for me today. A little scattered, but not too bad. I hope to be sharing more projects here soon as I've been super inspired to bake since moving. So far I've made waffles and donuts.

Banana donuts with maple glaze.

I will also try to share pics of my new place once I get it more put together. Here is the only one I have so far, of my new storage unit where I planned to put. It may or may not stay there. As you can see, there is still tons of stuff around it that needs to be put away.

 

More soon. Ta for now! xoxo

In with the new

I know I've been neglecting my own tiny corner of the blogosphere. I'm sorry! I've been busy packing and moving and trying to settle in to the new place while still cleaning and finishing up at the old place. It makes my brain feel all scattered. Saturday my uncle and I moved all of the big things over in a U Haul truck. That took all day and wow! did I hurt the next day. I really need to get rid of some stuff. A lot of stuff, actually, because it is ridiculous how much stuff I have. People keep telling me to relax and take my time, but I can't really relax until I have everything settled at the old place and my stuff is put away at the new place. It's just how I'm wired. So I keep feeling scattered and waiting for everything to settle down again.

But in the meantime, I am enjoying my new little home. It's just right for me. Not too small, not too large. I love the cushy carpet and the dimming lights. I love that there is a little bit of a nook where I can finally have my books all together and set off from the living room. I'm planning to make it kind of like my own little library/reading nook. I love that there is a small bathroom with an awesome shower and great water pressure PLUS a vanity with sink and lots of storage and counter space in my bedroom. I love love love the huge walk-in closet. So basically, I LOVE this place and I'm so excited to get all settled in and organized. One of the things that a lot of people don't/wouldn't like is the road noise. I'm right off a main road, so the whooshing by of cars is pretty constant. I love that. It's like white noise to me, so I find it really soothing. Yet another reason this place was clearly meant for me. The kitchen is small, but all I really need. Once I get a few things (some more canisters, and more importantly, some sort of something that will add a bit more storage (I'm still working on that one)) I will be able to get everything put away there.

I would also like to get a storage ottoman and area rug for the living room, perhaps a small dining table and a couple chairs, a comfy chair for my reading nook, and eventually some art for the walls. I guess this is my little wish list. Other things I'm looking into: an iron/ironing board wall holder; wall hooks, for additional storage; a baker's rack or some sort of pantry storage piece; anchors so I can hang the curtains; baskets for organizing; a shower caddy; a dresser or some sort of shelving unit for my closet.

So that's where I've been and what's going on with me. Once I get things put away, I will take some pictures (demanded by my mother) and try to remember to post some of them here. This Friday at 8 am, the guy is coming to the old place to clean the carpet, and then I will do the final cleaning (which is actually pretty minimal, except cleaning the oven, which will take some time). After this weekend I will be done in the old place and able to fully focus on my new home. Finally. Wish me luck!

xoxo

Me from A to Z

I am once again borrowing from Janetha. She created this survey over on her blog and now I'm going to use it because I'm tired and plum out of creativity today. Daylight Savings takes so much more than just an hour. Thief! Anyway, enough with the drama. On to the survey.

A is for age: 30

B is for breakfast today: Coffee, yogurt and strawberries (mostly strawberries) and a spoonful of peanut butter. Not very exciting, I know. 

C is for currently craving: Bagels! I came across this post while going through my google reader this morning, and I can't wait to try the recipe. It looks super simple; I just need some Arrowroot powder.

Gluten free bagels from Fork and Beans

D is for dinner tonight: Hmm, good question. I'm not much of a dinner person. I usually just have some sort of protein/carb mixture or a Shakeology after my workout. But I do have some leftover pasta from my productive Sunday, so I'll probably have some of that. Or eggs with toast. Maybe cereal. I honestly don't know. I can tell you there will definitely be oranges because I'm on a kick right now.

E is for favorite type of exercise: Workouts on my treadmill are my favorite, by far! I like to alternate walking with jogging/running. I also really enjoy crunches. I know that's probably weird to a lot of people, but I think they're fun. I like feeling my muscles contracting at different angles and stuff. 

F is for an irrational fear: Falling. When I'm on stairs, I worry about falling down them. When I see an edge, even if I'm not very close to it, I can see myself falling off it. When I'm in a car I worry about going over the edge. It can be very upsetting. 

G is for gross food: I like a lot of foods, but there are some things I just can't handle. Liver, brussels sprouts, anything with feet in it. (And on a related side note: this weekend I had my first experience with a bacon and peanut butter hamburger. Wow. It was incredible.) 

H is for hometown: Pleasanton, CA. I live less than 25 miles from where I grew up, which can be pretty cool and crazy sometimes, seeing all the changes.
 

I is for something important: Peace and quiet. This year has reinforced the importance of that for me. 

J is for current favorite jam: I refer you to this post from last week. 

K is for kids: Yes, yes it is. Spelling is important. ;) No kids for me yet, but maybe someday. 

L is for current location: At my desk at work in Berkeley, CA.

You can see my building! Sort of middle towards the top of the picture. I wish I knew how to make an arrow that points to it.

M is for the most recent way you spent money: I got a frozen yogurt at lunch today. I wasn't planning on it, but they had Hawaiian Coconut and I couldn't resist! 

N is for something you need: An excedrin. Ugh. Or more sleep. Both would be ideal. 

O is for occupation: Officially, I am an Administrative Officer 2, but I still use Financial Specialist, which was my title before they decided to change all the titles to things that are equally meaningless. Nobody ever knows what I do from my title. I do a whole bunch of stuff that isn't really covered by my title, but it was the best they could come up with. A lot of what I do is financial, so I usually just tell people I pay things and leave it at that. It's too complicated to try to explain it to people. 

P is for pet peeve: Thoughtlessness, self-absorption, oblioviousness. I don't know what you might want to call it, but an inability or unwillingness to think about how other people might be impacted by one's actions. 

Q is for a quote: Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. John Keats, Ode on a Grecian Urn

R is for random fact about you: I can clap with my feet - like, really well. :) That's all I can think of right now. 

S is for favorite healthy snack: Oranges. Or almonds. 

T is for favorite treat: Lately it's been Ben and Jerry's Late Night Snack. Oh my goodness, you guys! The fudge covered potato chip clusters. Heaven!

U is for something that makes you unique: Does having a headache almost all the time count? No? Then I can't think of anything. Because my head hurts too much to think that much. Also, I don't think I'm that unique. 

V is for favorite vegetable: Broccoli. Or spinach. I like a lot of vegetables. Avocado? Wait, that's a fruit, right? Because of the seed? Oh I like cabbage! Sigh. These questions are hard. 

W is for today’s workout: I will be getting on my treadmill when I get home. I'm planning on a long walk/run tonight, since I took yesterday off and last week was somewhat lacking due to headaches and nausea and whatnot. Plus looking at places for rent cut into my workout time. 

X is for X-rays you’ve had: Let's see... my guts when I was 4. Ankle when I was 11 after being hit by a car. Then teeth at the dentist. And my guts again a few times about 3-4 years ago. I think that's it.

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Curling up to start re-reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire before bed.

Z is for your time zone: Pacific

That was fun! OK, now it's your turn. Pick some letters and share your answers! You can use your initials, your favorite letter (if you have one), or just close your eyes and pick at random. xoxo

Midweek Music Break

I can't find a video for this, so go here to listen to "This Is Always," my current go-to soother.

I got to spend all weekend with my family, which was fun. But it left me exhausted. I was out of the house all Saturday and all Sunday, except for when I was asleep, which wasn't very long either night. That makes me sad. But I did manage to look at a place (didn't work out, but oh well) and get my grocery shopping done and still get home at a decent time Sunday night to get ready for work the next day. Which I promptly skipped when I woke up Monday morning with day three of the headache I'd been battling all weekend. Sigh. (One good thing about staying home, though, was that I finally got around to watching the last Harry Potter movie. Oh the tears! So, so good.) So that's the kind of week I've been having. Saturday was the worst of the headache, thank goodness. But yesterday I had the weirdest onset of nausea and then I worried for about two seconds that I might be getting that flu thing going around, until I decided I would not be getting that and moved on. It was a struggle to eat (and keep it down, but I won't go into details. Ew!) last night, even more than last Wednesday when I had a monster migraine, but I managed to force down some soup and some oranges. They didn't entirely agree with me or fill me up, but it was all I could contemplate eating without feeling really sick. So now it is Wednesday and the week is half over. My head has a sharp ache but nothing super unmanageable. I'm tired. I'm slightly stressed about finding a place but not overly concerned. My stomach is all kinds of messed up right now for whatever reason. This is when I turn to my music to calm me down. The last few days I've been listening to Jane Monheit almost nonstop in my car; here are a few of my favorites.

And finally, since they don't have many songs from Home on YouTube, here is a little behind the scenes video that has clips from some of the songs, including my favorite from the CD, I'll Be Around (click that link to listen to the song on Grooveshark).

I know that's a lot, but I just love her voice. I remember when I first listened to one of her CDs (In the Sun - 2002), which I received as a gift, I was somewhat unsure how I felt about it. She has a voice that some love and some really, really don't. Though I was a bit unsure, I did get her next CD (Taking a Chance on Love - 2004) and really liked it. I then went on to collect her two previous CDs and all subsequent releases. The more I heard, the more she grew on me. She conveys so much emotion with her voice, which is something I've never been able to resist. I have a deep love for symmetry and harmony, but I also like asymmetry and dissonance. The emotion is what makes both work for me, so that is what I follow. It's what makes me love her so much. That, and that she's very talented and passionate about what she does. She's now one of the artists whose releases I will faithfully buy without hearing a single song first.

Stay tuned because I'm working on something inspired by this post on Holly Would If She Could - an awesome blog I've recently discovered. Loving it! xoxo

30 Days

Last night my roommate and I gave our 30-day notice to the landlady. Yes, folks, I am on the move once again. I move a lot for someone who likes stability. Not by choice; it has just worked out that way. This past year was kind of an experiment anyway. I wasn't sure it would last, and I turned out to be correct. Maybe I should listen to myself more? But no, I think everything worked out and is working out as it should. This year was something I needed to learn about myself: I am not a roommate type of person. Honestly, I already knew that but I thought perhaps I could push that aside in favor of spending less on rent and being able to have a bigger place to live. Instead I found that I really prefer living on my own, I'm pretty sure with the added utilities I ended up spending at least the same if not more than I was before, and that more space means more to keep up. Ugh. But if I hadn't tried it, I would always have wondered. Now I know for sure. I also know that I am willing to spend a bit more to keep what sanity I have. This is the same lesson I thought I had already learned when I stopped carpooling a few years ago. Oh well, I am stubborn.

So now the adventure begins again. This, for me, is the stressful part. I don't mind moving; I have moved many, many times in my life. All I really need is a weekend to get everything done. And I actually enjoy the opportunity to reorganize and change things around. It's the not knowing what's happening yet that stresses me out. Once I find a place that feels right and everything is settled, I will feel fine. Until then I will run my stress out on my treadmill. (I found something last night that sounds like it could be a good fit, but I haven't received a response yet. So prayers and good thoughts sent my way would be much appreciated.)

Aside from the stress of finding a place, making sure all the funds are in place and arranging packing/moving/etc., I'm pretty excited for this. I can't wait to be living on my own again! I miss having my own space so much that I've even thought longingly of my last place, which I absolutely HATED. And this time I want to do things like decorate and hang pictures and stuff, which I never do. Does that mean I'm growing up finally? Trying to put down some roots? I am 30 now, after all. I keep dreaming about art on walls - clusters of pictures, photos I've had for years, cityscapes and landscapes - and perhaps a comfy chair by a window where I can read away a Sunday. Maybe some wall shelves. I've always wanted floating wall shelves. Maybe painting the walls a color that isn't white? So many possibilities. I want it to feel like home, not just the place I currently live. I want it to feel like me. I want to get up earlier and savor the quiet time to myself. I want to pull my ballet barre out and my pilates machine. I want to use the things I have that I love and purge the things I don't want, don't need and don't use. I want things to be simpler and cleaner. I want to be more of who I was in my first place, which I absolutely loved and still miss. It was small, but it was lovely and all I really needed. Sigh. Good times. And I can have that again; I just need to find the place.

Quote of the day

This is the Sandy quote of the day: "I don't know, I just licked it."

I think we should all try to work that into everyday conversation.

Happy weekend! xoxo

Must haves

I got this idea from Janetha's series of Things I Use & Love posts over at meals & moves. This is going to be about my workouts, because that's what I feel like focusing on right now. And even though I'm tired, I'm really looking forward to my workout tonight since I had to take last night off. So, these are the things I use when I workout that a) I LOVE and b) really work for me (that's why I love them so much!).

My treadmill

Not the best pictures, I know. But I kept forgetting to take these pictures until it was night and there was hardly any light, and my phone is my camera. Blah blah blah.

Isn't she pretty? I love my treadmill. I'm not really a gym person because I prefer to work out solo. I've always enjoyed walking, and that's how I started getting into shape oh so many years ago when I finally determined to be healthier. Back then I was living in a tiny little room with too much stuff, so my walking consisted of going back and forth in an L shape, wearing a rut in the carpet and leaving blue marks from my shoes when I turned. I've come a long way, baby. At some point I remember getting one of those dinky stepper things, which I wore out in no time. Then I got a manual treadmill. That was fine for a short time, but I wanted one with a motor to help keep me on pace. It took some time, but I finally got this one when I moved into my last place and there's been no going back. I can walk, I can jog, I can run. I can change my incline. I can do one of the preset workouts. I LOVE it so. I learned quickly though not to watch funny things, because I will fall off the treadmill and hurt myself if I laugh too hard. A painful lesson to learn, but it has stuck with me.

Running shoes
Shoes are important. I'm more of a walker/jogger than a runner, but a good running shoe is critical. I feel it when I'm not wearing good shoes, or my shoes have worn out. I've tried several different styles in the stores and I like New Balance. My last new shoes were actually Asics, but I discovered after a while that they do not work well for my feet. I was not getting the proper support where I needed it or something, because my feet always hurt. Which is why I got rid of those and went back to my old New Balance shoes, which took better care of my feet despite being well past their prime. So New Balance it is. There is something about them that works just right for me. They manage to give me the support I need for my flat feet and overpronation, AND for my ankles, without being too restrictive (which is surprisingly difficult for me to find).

As I mentioned previously, I got two new pairs of shoes a few weeks ago:

Brooks Adrenaline GTS 12

New Balance 860v.2

So far, I've mostly used the New Balance because I really prefer them for walking and running. But I want to try the Brooks a bit more, both on the treadmill and for cross-training, to see what works best for me.

Weights
I am not good about maintaining my weight lifting regimen. I'm the first to admit that. My name is Elizabeth, and I am a cardio addict. It's true. I just feel better about myself when I'm all sweaty and out of breath and beet red from a good cardio workout. BUT I also know how important weight lifting is, both for weight loss and for overall health. So I do try to fit it in 2-3 times each week. I know that it helps me. And I love the results, I just don't find it very enjoyable. I mostly alternate between 5 and 8 pound hand weights. I have resistance bands, but I don't use them much. I am considering Les Mills Pump to improve my weight training. Plus the deluxe package comes with a step/bench thingy. I'm still thinking about that though because it's a video based workout. (See the next thing on my list for why that may not work for me.)

Netflix/DVDs/Music
I like watching something or listening to my iPod when I'm working out. It's what keeps me motivated.

Right now (as you can see and as I've mentioned before) I'm watching Friday Night Lights. Sometimes when I walk I will listen to an audio book. And when I'm running, I really enjoy listening to Bloc Party because they keep me pumped and give me a really good beat to maintain my pace. But my favorite thing is to watch TV. Here's why:
1) I get drawn into the story, so the workout goes by faster
2) The pretty people make me want to be in better shape
3) 43 minutes (the approximate length of an hour long show minus the commercials) is a good length for me. Depending on if I'm walking or jogging or running, or a combination, that's usually the time it takes me to go anywhere from 2 to 4 miles. My normal workout is either treadmill for one episode and weight lifting for one episode OR treadmill for two episodes. That seems to work really well for my body and for my schedule.

Workout DVDs
For those times when I'm into a video workout I like to do Turbo Jam

or Rockin Body

Both are enjoyable for me and give me a good workout. Both incorporate dance to a certain extent (Rockin Body more than Turbo Jam). I'm slightly more partial to Turbo Jam because I've had it longer and done all the workouts, so it's more familiar. And I know that I burn 800-900 calories in a 45-50 minute cardio workout. I don't know what I'm burning with Rockin Body because my Bodybugg doesn't really work anymore (hence why that is not on this post).

Peripherals (kinda)
Just as important to me as anything else is this:

I use these to pull my hair up into buns when I'm doing hard cardio. Not necessary for just walking or weight lifting or anything like that. But if I'm going all out, either jogging/running or a video - anything that leaves me a sweaty mess - I'm going to use these and here is why:

Before my workout

After my workout

I do believe this was a 3 mile walk/run. Notice that I have a few wispies and my face has more color, but otherwise it looks the same. THAT is why I love this. My hair isn't bouncing around bugging me when I'm working out AND it stays put throughout. I think I got the idea from a magazine to pull my hair into a bun to keep it in place, but I modified to two buns because my layers kept falling out and one bun was just too much hair for my little clippies to hold.

So there you have it. My workouts in a nutshell. Have a great weekend! xoxo

What is/are your favorite workout(s)? Anything you've been wanting to try? Any workout items or accessories you can't live without?

Friday Randomness

Hi there! I have several posts in the works, all of them about half finished.  Focusing is not my strong suit sometimes. It is finally Friday and I'm running on three cups of coffee. (That's a lot for me.) I am tired y'all. Not even for any particular reason. It's just one of those weeks, I guess. So in lieu of any of those other posts still in progress, I'm going to ramble about a few things.

1) I have worked out every night this week. Monday I tried out my new New Balance running shoes and did my toning routine. Tuesday I tried out my new Brooks running shoes for a slightly longer run and determined that I like the New Balance better for running. Wednesday I was back in the New Balance for a short run and toning routine. Last night... oh last night. I was looking forward to a really fun workout, but by the time I got home my head hurt and I had almost no energy. I was thisclose to skipping it altogether, but I managed to pull it together and do a couple of miles on the treadmill while watching Friday Night Lights. That was about all I was capable of. But I'm not dwelling on that. I choose to focus on the fact that I did work out. So yay me. And tonight I am going to go home, put on my jammies and totally veg out. I have earned it, my friends!

2) Friday Night Lights! Oh my gosh, how amazing is this show? It is currently what I call my "workout show," which means I only watch it when I'm working out. It's one of the tricks I use to help motivate me to stick to my workout schedule. (I confess, I have watched a couple epidodes on my lunch breaks. It's that good.) Let me tell you, it really came in handy last night. Oh and the episode I was watching last night was so, so good (Season 1, Ep. 12: What to Do While You're Waiting.) I may have been over-relating just a bit, but wow. So well done. Anyway. If you like a good drama, with good writing and good acting, I highly recommend it. The entire series is on Netflix DVD and streaming (which is how I'm watching it). In fact, I'm very tempted to watch it tonight, but I will try to resist and stick to the numerous things piled up on my DVR.

3) Which brings me to Vampire Diaries. Oh man. This show makes me look forward to Thursdays, people. And it did not disappoint last night. I absolutely HATED the dress they put Nina Dobrev in. But her hair looked fabulous, so I guess I can let it go. So many good things, I can't even get into it all. I wish I had been feeling better so I could more fully enjoy it. But even so, awesome episode, as usual. And Cindy agrees with me! Love!

OK, I'm going to end my rambling there for today. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'm looking forward to lots of rest. xoxo

Random things that make me happy

I'm having one of those days when I'm bored with everything, I'm not feeling great and I'm just generally cranky. I know I haven't eaten enough but nothing sounds good. I need my workout tonight (physically and mentally), but I'm not looking forward to it. I'm a joy to be around. You know, one of THOSE days when nothing satisfies me. So why not talk about random things that make me happy to cheer myself up?

I would like to take this opportunity to pat myself on the back a bit. I am proud of myself for staying under budget last month. Yay! I wish I could remember the last time that happened, but, sadly I cannot. Also, I stuck to my goal of at least four workouts per week. I have a chart at home with star stickers to prove it. (Yes I like to reward myself with stickers. They are stars, but not necessarily gold. No, I don't have a color-coded system, though that sounds like something I would do. I could only find a variety pack of the star stickers I like so I'm going through them one color at a time. Right now I'm on blue, which are very pretty and make me smile.) One of these days I should get a picture and share the slightly chaotic method behind the madness of my workout schedule. This is not that day, but maybe soon if I can remember.

I'm going to the cable office this evening to shut off one of the DVRs in my house, because I really don't need two. I want to save money, not spend extra money to have a spare DVR just in case I have too many things on I want to record. That's what the internet is for. Oy. So one DVR will be enough for me even if I end up whining about it. If/when that happens, I will tell myself to stop being so spoiled and ridiculous and be thankful for the things I have (both necessary and not). I've got a pretty good life. And Vampire Diaries is back on this week! So happy! Even one week off is no fun. I had plenty to do last Thursday to distract me from it, but I still missed it. I wonder if they'll kill anyone this week. :D

The belt on my treadmill seems to be working again. Ever since it was moved last March, the belt would not stay aligned, making it impossible for me to run on my treadmill. But after a friend helped me move it into the living room almost a month ago (meaning he moved it while I watched and told him not to hurt himself), it's been working like a charm again. I don't know why. I'm not going to question it; I'm just thankful. I've missed running so so so so much. I prefer being on my treadmill to being outside (I know, to most people that's weird, but whatever), so it's been really tough having the belt out of whack.

I'm super excited to get my taxes done on Saturday. I love tax season! As long as I don't see my W-2 and how much money they take from me, I am a very happy camper. And that refund money is going toward my credit card. I really mean it this time. I say that every year, but I wimp out because I'm always so afraid of not having enough in my checking account. Yet I somehow manage to make it all the other months of the year, plus I have my savings in case of emergency. So I'm going to suck it up and put my return toward my debt (except for however much I may need for new tires).

I'm also excited to get new workout shoes on Saturday. Finding out how much I'll be getting back is sure to put me in a good mood, and the shoe store is on my way home. Plus I have a little surplus funding this month somehow. And my running shoes are OLD. So old they don't even have them on the website anymore because they've updated to a new version. It hurts my feet to even walk in them. I might get a new pair of running shoes and some cross-trainers. Although I found a pair of New Balance (my faves!) that are both. Who knew? We'll see what I find at the store.

Those are the random things that make me happy right now. Are there any little things that fill you with joy? Running/cross-training shoe recommendations? Random thoughts? Please share! xoxo

New Year, New Goals

Oh my gosh! January is almost over and still no resolutions. This is so unlike me. I'm usually the type of person who has goals picked out well before Christmas, but I'm struggling this year. It's not for lack of things I want to see happen. I just seem to be having difficulty laying out my goals in a way that is simple but also "trackable." I seem to do better with goals that involve tracking and accountability, like my reading and mileage goals last year. But I also feel like I need to tweak the motivation behind them, or my way of thinking about things, or something. I don't want to be reading a bunch of books just to meet my quota. And mileage is great, but feels too narrow. I still want to lose weight, but I want it to be more about my health than a number. So some of what I've come up with is frustratingly vague (to my way of thinking, at least), but I will share what I have anyway because putting it off isn't helping either.

My fitness goal is to consistently work out at least four days per week, including at least two days with weight lifting. So far I have been doing well with this. Of course part of this is to lose weight, but it's also about reinforcing healthy habits so I don't end up in a vicious cycle of falling off the wagon and beating myself up about it, then restarting only to fall off again. Unfortunately, I have difficulty sticking to a weight lifting routine because in my brain it's not a good workout unless sweat is dripping off me. I know that weight lifting is beneficial and produces results, but ultimately I am a cardio queen. But that's kind of the point: I want to change how I think about things. I don't want to measure the quality of my workouts by how many miles I go, or something like that. I want to base it on how I feel after: Did I push myself? Am I doing my best? Am I consistently fitting this into my life? And so on. So I don't want to set up goals for mileage or a certain amount of weight loss. I want my clothes to fit better again, and more importantly, I want to feel good because I'm taking care of myself. I will try to share here frequently what kind of workouts I'm doing and if I'm meeting my goal, to help me stay accountable. 

My health goal is to climb back on the gluten-free wagon and stay there. It's funny to me how difficult this can be, considering I've been gluten free most of my life. But it is so easy to fall into a pattern of cheating because it's less work, it's less expensive and it's yummy. But, and this is a huge issue: it makes me feel terrible! Physically, because my body can't handle it. I end up sick and bloated most of the time, and the headaches become even more constant and intense than is normal for me (which if you know me, is really saying something). Plus, it's not just gluten-y food, most of it is just not very healthy for anyone. And it's taken a huge toll mentally and emotionally. I feel awful for doing that to myself. Whether it's laziness, self-destructive tendencies, a desire not to be different, whatever. It had to stop and I've been sticking to it since December. So far so good, with a couple little accidental slips. I struggled a lot last year with my lack of motivation to take care of myself. Ultimately it's a circular argument I was having with myself, and I decided to just suck it up and do the things I know I need to do, even when my motivation disappears. Because continuing to do those things, and enjoying the good results they bring, is the only thing that can bring back my motivation. Otherwise I just end up in a downward spiral, and I'm sick of that. 

My spiritual goal is to make my daily bible reading and prayer time a priority, which means doing it every day even if I'm not really in the mood. I've been sticking to this so far as well. I have a One Year Bible devotional that's helping me stay on track. I'm also trying not to be such a stickler about every single detail, so some days I don't do all the reading recommended. Maybe I'll just read the Psalms and Proverbs. Maybe I'll read everything. Whatever I feel I need so that it's meaningful and not just me checking another thing off my to do list.

My financial goal is to pay off my debt and live within my means. Granted, I just have the one credit card with a balance, and my debt is significantly lower than a lot of peoples', but it causes me so much stress. I HATE having debt. And I know that it's kind of a necessary evil, because there are expenses and emergencies and whatnot, but I want my debt to be as minimal as possible. This is completely manageable, I just need to keep myself in check and not spend my money frivolously every month. A little frivolity is fine, but I need to keep my budget under better control than I did last year. It would be fantastic if I could lower my monthly expenses more, but we'll see how that works out. I want more money to go into my savings once the card is paid down, and I would really love to open an IRA.

So that's what I have for this year. You'll notice there is neither a mileage goal nor a reading goal. I'm still logging miles, and I'll probably share that here. And of course I'm still going to read and share what I read as I have been. But I have too much stress in my life to put more pressure on myself. I've also added a feature on the left to show what I am currently reading. I change that as my reading material changes, and I will be including the magazines I read because I enjoy them just as much as books and they teach me and inspire me.


If you've made resolutions/goals, I would love to hear about them and your progress!

Video

I know this has been out for a little while already, but whatever. I just heard this song and found it very powerful, so I found a YouTube video of it and here you go. You're welcome. xoxo

There's another video of this song with lyrics that I like better and it has a quote from Matthew West at the end about the song, but it won't let me put it on here for some reason. So here's a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X6h6QiFqi4&context=C315598aADOEgsToPDskIR7X-eaHlEM7_vqDpmkV0r

December Update and Year Totals

Hi all,

First up is my walk/run goal. In December I did 38 miles, so my grand total for the year is... 353.5 miles! 53.5 miles over my goal. The crowd goes wild!!! I feel pretty good about myself for accomplishing that goal.

Next is my reading goal. I read three books in December. I cut myself a little slack because I was tired and had some magazines to catch up on. Plus, I had already passed my goal, so no pressure. That makes my total for the year 52 books! I'm proud of that accomplishment too, especially considering how insanely busy I feel sometimes. It's important that I make the time to slow down, relax and do the things I enjoy (like reading).

Here's what I read:

The Eyre Affair

I can't even begin to describe these books in any way that makes sense to myself. Read the descriptions on Amazon. Better yet, read the books. I love these and decided to reread them again for fun.You read that right - I reread them again. I can't remember how many times I've read them and I always enjoy them. This is the first book.

Lost in a Good Book

This is the second book. I plan to read the next ones this month, and hopefully get the most recent one soon so I can read that too.

A Woman of Valor: Clara Barton and the Civil War

I actually started reading this way back in August but I had a lot of trouble focusing. Once I decided to focus on it, I quite enjoyed it. Good history, told in a very smooth narrative style that kept things going. And I enjoyed learning more about Clara Barton. I never knew much about her other than the superficial things one gets when learning history. I liked the insight this provided into who she was. And it shows that even the history makers are still human. Very interesting. I would recommend it.

I had a lovely week off in which I didn't have to think too much, and I'm proud to announce that I managed to watch all 105 episodes of Wizards of Waverly Place during that time, plus the movie. There is only one episode of the show left to air. I'm pretty proud of that accomplishment too. I often have trouble sitting still and doing nothing and letting myself (and my brain rest), but I managed it. Mostly. I did squeeze about 3.5-4 days of work in there (putting things away, running errands, cooking, cleaning, working out, etc.). It was a good week. :D

I don't know yet if I'm going to set a mileage goal for this year or focus on something else. I think I do want to set another reading goal, but I don't know how many I want to aim for, if I want to increase the number or maybe try for more of a certain type of reading. We'll see where I land on that. I haven't settled on my goal(s) yet, so that will have to wait. I hope to be back soon with more on that once I get my brain to focus again. Happy New Year!! xoxo