Oh my gosh! January is almost over and still no resolutions. This is so unlike me. I'm usually the type of person who has goals picked out well before Christmas, but I'm struggling this year. It's not for lack of things I want to see happen. I just seem to be having difficulty laying out my goals in a way that is simple but also "trackable." I seem to do better with goals that involve tracking and accountability, like my reading and mileage goals last year. But I also feel like I need to tweak the motivation behind them, or my way of thinking about things, or something. I don't want to be reading a bunch of books just to meet my quota. And mileage is great, but feels too narrow. I still want to lose weight, but I want it to be more about my health than a number. So some of what I've come up with is frustratingly vague (to my way of thinking, at least), but I will share what I have anyway because putting it off isn't helping either.
My fitness goal is to consistently work out at least four days per week, including at least two days with weight lifting. So far I have been doing well with this. Of course part of this is to lose weight, but it's also about reinforcing healthy habits so I don't end up in a vicious cycle of falling off the wagon and beating myself up about it, then restarting only to fall off again. Unfortunately, I have difficulty sticking to a weight lifting routine because in my brain it's not a good workout unless sweat is dripping off me. I know that weight lifting is beneficial and produces results, but ultimately I am a cardio queen. But that's kind of the point: I want to change how I think about things. I don't want to measure the quality of my workouts by how many miles I go, or something like that. I want to base it on how I feel after: Did I push myself? Am I doing my best? Am I consistently fitting this into my life? And so on. So I don't want to set up goals for mileage or a certain amount of weight loss. I want my clothes to fit better again, and more importantly, I want to feel good because I'm taking care of myself. I will try to share here frequently what kind of workouts I'm doing and if I'm meeting my goal, to help me stay accountable.
My health goal is to climb back on the gluten-free wagon and stay there. It's funny to me how difficult this can be, considering I've been gluten free most of my life. But it is so easy to fall into a pattern of cheating because it's less work, it's less expensive and it's yummy. But, and this is a huge issue: it makes me feel terrible! Physically, because my body can't handle it. I end up sick and bloated most of the time, and the headaches become even more constant and intense than is normal for me (which if you know me, is really saying something). Plus, it's not just gluten-y food, most of it is just not very healthy for anyone. And it's taken a huge toll mentally and emotionally. I feel awful for doing that to myself. Whether it's laziness, self-destructive tendencies, a desire not to be different, whatever. It had to stop and I've been sticking to it since December. So far so good, with a couple little accidental slips. I struggled a lot last year with my lack of motivation to take care of myself. Ultimately it's a circular argument I was having with myself, and I decided to just suck it up and do the things I know I need to do, even when my motivation disappears. Because continuing to do those things, and enjoying the good results they bring, is the only thing that can bring back my motivation. Otherwise I just end up in a downward spiral, and I'm sick of that.
My spiritual goal is to make my daily bible reading and prayer time a priority, which means doing it every day even if I'm not really in the mood. I've been sticking to this so far as well. I have a One Year Bible devotional that's helping me stay on track. I'm also trying not to be such a stickler about every single detail, so some days I don't do all the reading recommended. Maybe I'll just read the Psalms and Proverbs. Maybe I'll read everything. Whatever I feel I need so that it's meaningful and not just me checking another thing off my to do list.
My financial goal is to pay off my debt and live within my means. Granted, I just have the one credit card with a balance, and my debt is significantly lower than a lot of peoples', but it causes me so much stress. I HATE having debt. And I know that it's kind of a necessary evil, because there are expenses and emergencies and whatnot, but I want my debt to be as minimal as possible. This is completely manageable, I just need to keep myself in check and not spend my money frivolously every month. A little frivolity is fine, but I need to keep my budget under better control than I did last year. It would be fantastic if I could lower my monthly expenses more, but we'll see how that works out. I want more money to go into my savings once the card is paid down, and I would really love to open an IRA.
So that's what I have for this year. You'll notice there is neither a mileage goal nor a reading goal. I'm still logging miles, and I'll probably share that here. And of course I'm still going to read and share what I read as I have been. But I have too much stress in my life to put more pressure on myself. I've also added a feature on the left to show what I am currently reading. I change that as my reading material changes, and I will be including the magazines I read because I enjoy them just as much as books and they teach me and inspire me.
If you've made resolutions/goals, I would love to hear about them and your progress!
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